Matthiashombauer Portrait

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Being with your feelings

Most of us are so busy during the day that we often don't find the time to ask ourselves: What is here right now at this very moment?

Matthiashombauer Portrait

Process coaching is bringing your Client to the NOW and helping them to be with feelings they are avoiding.

  • Case Study

Sue loves to work with her clients on personal branding and giving Workshops. However, she was very upset in one of our recent coaching sessions. Sue told me that she hates to rely on clients she doesn't want to work with but can't say "no" because she feels responsible for them.

"What if I say no, and the client is feeling bad about it cause he counts on me" was her argument.

On the other hand, it also limits her time to work on the projects she loves the most. I sensed stuck energy that was blocked from flowing freely.

The Co-Active Process Energy Pattern

In Process coaching, you take the Client on a journey where they experience the stuck emotion and process it. Here are the steps of the Process Energy pattern.

  • The Coach hears a stuck emotion and names it.

I sensed that Sue was very upset about her situation and articulated what was going on. What resonated most with her was a feeling of "fear" of saying No to those clients.

Coach takes the Client into it and has the client experience it.

Once I had established the agenda, I asked how this feeling was right now. Sue embodied the fear by standing up, and a metaphor of a corsage came up. It felt like she was cord up and didn't even have a lot of room to breathe. I acknowledged her for being brave to look at her feeling. By asking, "What is here right now?" I gave Sue space to explore this feeling even further.

  • As the Client includes it a shift happens, and awareness expands.

After staying with the feeling for a couple of minutes, something started to shift. Sue felt that the corsage loosened up and that she could breathe more freely. Once we explored what was here in the moment, I suggested to Sue if she was willing to take off the corsage. After some hesitation, she confirmed that she wanted to go for it. Sue counted to three, and together we removed her corsage and put it next to the floor. At this moment, she could breathe freely again, and the emotion of fear disappeared.

  • The Client integrates new awareness and creates from this newly available energy.

I knew that Sue was now ready for a challenge that would help her overcome her fear of saying no to clients she didn't want to work with anymore. So, I challenged her to say "No" to all of the clients that were holding her back from moving forward with her business. Sue made a counteroffer to say No to the most obvious for her and that she would negotiate with long-term clients that she would not be available anymore for them in the future.

A day later, Sue called me to say she had just signed up a new dream client she loves working with.

About the author
Matthias Hombauer is a Co-Active Coach and former Molecular Biologist. He loves working with creative minds who want to bring their vision and dreams alive. He lives with his two kids (Mia and Noa) and his wife in Vienna, Austria.

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Matthias Hombauer - 7 December 2022
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